My Life With James McAvoy
by LiannasFiction
Summary: Never did I dream that all I had ever wanted would come true. To think, it was all because my two best friends forced me to attend Comic-Con with them. My life would be boring, and meaningless. Just as it always was, if I wouldn't have attended.
1. VOLUME: I

My Life With James McAvoy

VOLUME: I

By: Lianna's Fiction

It was no lie that I was extremely frightened to be attending this convention. Or as you might know it as Comic-con. My friends' had talked me into it, and had even bought me a ticket to ensure that I went. They insisted, and insisted until I was in the car and ready for a three hour drive. I knew why they wanted me to go, and let me just make it clear that he was a perfectly good reason to go. It was just my fear really, and it was trying to hold me back from meeting him. So once we finished the trip, and had already grabbed a parking spot close to the entrance. Well, we flew in like it was our first Quidditch match. That might seem misleading. So let me rephrase that. We flew in like we were magical brooms from Harry Potter. Excited, thrilled, appalled by a few costumes. Of course, we had chosen not to dress up, but simply because we didn't have that kind of money. If I would have had the money I would have chosen to be Jean Grey. I always admired her in both the movies, and the comics. The real reason I was here though, wasn't for the costumes, the boys, and not even for the merchandise. No, I was here for one reason, and one reason only. He goes by the name, 'James McAvoy'.

Yes, I was excited, a little frightened, and maybe even a bit clumsy due to my fears. The main reason I tried to desperately avoid this event was because I knew he was married, and I knew that if I fell in love with him there would be no turning back. Also, I hated facial hair, and I knew his last few movies had revolved around facial hair. So, upon a quick walk-through of the building. My friends' were already searching for him. Meanwhile, I had been entertaining myself with little fantasies. The only problem is, I had no idea what was going to happen. It actually started to frighten me, and I was beginning to think I should leave. I wanted to escape, and not face him. What if he didn't like the way I colored my hair? What if he didn't like my tattoo? What if he hated piercings? I started to grow little self-conscious. It was clearly readable on my face, and my closest friend had to snap her fingers in front of my face. Madison, that was my best friend. Actually, we were so close that we called each other twins. Though we looked absolutely nothing alike, we thought alike. We actually had the coincidence of doing, saying, and thinking the same exact things often.

My heart was beating quickly, and rapidly as voices were heard of the speaker. I knew what this meant, it meant it was Question and Answer time. When a group of celebrities from the same series would sit at a table, and they would answer questions the fans had. Of course, I wasn't certain on all of the celebrities that would come. I remembered hearing the Walking Dead cast were going to be here, and a few from the newest X-Men. Then, of course, there was Percy Jackson. I even think the Weasley twins were going to show up. That was another man I was hoping to see. Oliver Phelps, I had crushed on him for so long. The only problem was, since I started growing this new liking of James McAvoy. Well, I was beginning to disown my obsession with Oliver Phelps. It was like my brain didn't have enough time to obsess over both of them. So, here I was. Standing in the front row with, my two best friends, Madison and Amity. I wasn't paying much attention really. I busied myself with my bright green top, or messed with the ankles of my turquoise skinny jeans. I was even a victim of losing one of my lime green flats underneath the stage. I had to search for it with my foot, nonchalantly of course, until I finally caught it between my toes.

However, everything changed when Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, and James McAvoy all came out on stage. It was an added bonus to see Jennifer, she was a lovely human being. The irony of James McAvoy sitting directly in front of me, well it was slim to none. Somehow, I was just that lucky though, and since he entered last he took the third seat. Which just so happen to be the one in front of me. Madison and Amity sent me glances of _well looks who's sitting in front of you!_ As well as, _Oh my gosh, he's right in front of you!_ I have to say, I was just as surprised as them, but I was beginning to think my luck was really holding out. I had barely remembered to wear my contacts, but thankfully I did. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have been able to see how perfectly flawless James was. He was freshly shaved, and my heart fluttered. There was no time wasted though, and the questions quickly started to spring out. People asked personal questions, of course, but I knew darn well that James wasn't interested in them. He was more concerned with ones that he wanted to answer. Any fan would know he didn't answer personal questions. Which took me by surprise when I my own hand shot up. I think it took him by surprise as well, because his eyes went directly to me. Though, I've always been the palest person anyone had ever met. Not to mention my hair was bright turquoise and matched my pants perfectly.

**"****Well, hello there."** I didn't realize it at first, it took a minute to process, but James was speaking to me. The way he said it was so attractive, and I thought myself to faint. Somehow, I kept my composure, and smiled at him. The speaker walked over to me, and handed me the mic. Now, what was that questions I wanted to ask? Oh yes, I remember now.

**"****I just wanted to say that I'm so happy you shaved your beard off. Anyway, my question is pretty simple. If you had the choice of playing any character of any series, including Harry Potter, Doctor Who, The Walking Dead, any series. Who would you like to be, and why?"** Everyone seemed to get completely quite, and James' smile faded slowly. My heart pumped faster as I knew that I stunned him with such a difficult question.

**"****That's not a simple question at all."** Jennifer said aloud, and Michael looked at James. It seemed he was waiting for an answer. "Is that for all of us?" Jennifer asked nicely, and I smiled.

**"****Oh, yes. Sorry, mostly for James. Since I hope you don't have to shave your face."** I was clearly joking, and Jennifer burst out into laughter as soon as the words left my lips. It seemed everyone was amused, because the whole building roared with laughter.

**"****Oh, god. No, I don't. Thankfully. I'd hate to end up with a beard like James'."** More people laughed, and James seemed to snap out of his thoughts.

**"****Excuse me, my beard is very wonderful, thank you!"** Michael Fassbender laughed allowed, and everyone followed in unison.

**"****Of course it is, James'. Now, I'll go first. By the way, I love your hair, it's so bright!"** I smiled, but didn't comment just yet. As Michael continued to speak. **"I'd have to say that I'd love to play a zombie on the Walking Dead."** The fans started cheering, and I smiled wider. "I think that would be really interesting, and the amount of makeup that is put into that show. It's outstanding, really. I'd love to do that." Everyone continued cheering, and then Jennifer spoke up. Which caused everyone to simmer down their applause and shouting.

**"****Oh, you'd play a terrific zombie! Though, I'd have to say, I would have loved to have been in Harry Potter. I'm not even sure which character really. Maybe just an extra student, or something. I always wanted to have a magical wand. Ever since I was a little girl."** Everyone applauded again, but it seemed James was having the most trouble with it all. He was chewing on his upper lip, from the inside, and everyone turned to him.

**"****What, I'm still thinking! That's a great question! I'm actually pleased it wasn't something personal. Thank you, so much for not asking a personal question."** He was directing that to me, and I blushed a little.

**"****Well, I know you don't like personal questions. So, I knew that you'd appreciate an actual question, instead of prying."** He smiled, and it wasn't just a normal smile. It was that toothy smile, the charming one that could make even the strongest of hearted women fall to their knees and cry out, _GOOD LAWD, HAVE MERCY!_ I felt a little weak, naturally, but Amity and Madison made sure I had footing. I rested my arm on Madison, and James seemed concerned.

**"****Are you alright?"** I smiled at him, a little blush.

**"****Always."** A few people started cheering, and Jennifer piped up.

**"****I see what you did there!"** I laughed, and leaned over a bit as I did. She was laughing too, but Michael and James seemed confused.

**"****What?"** Jennifer looked at Michael.

**"****I don't get it?"** Then she twisted her head to look at James.

**"****It's a Harry Potter quote."** James instantly realized what it meant as soon as she spoke it's meaning.

**"****Oh, sorry! I should have known that. Uh, well, I guess I'd have to choose Harry Potter. Like Jennifer, I've always wanted to have a magical wand, ever since I was a little girl... Just kidding, but really. Ever since I was little, I've wanted a magical wand. If I could choose, I'd probably play one of the Weasley twins. Probably George, since he's taller. That way they'd have to find someone shooter than me."** My heart stopped when he said that. It was like both of my obsessions met in the middle. My eyes widened. **"Is that a good answer?"** Everyone was cheering, and I nodded slowly. The speaker took the mic away and spoke the worst four words I had ever heard in my life.

**"****Alright, well, it's got to come to an end now. Tell the three of them goodbye, and you'll see them out and about around. Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, and James McAvoy, everybody! Give them a round of applause!"** Several people were sarcastic and actually did the clapping in a circular motion routine. I just clapped, so happy to have given James the only question that he could appreciate. Madison and Amity were nudging me, and bouncing with joy.

**"****You did so good! I thought you were going to die!"** Amity said, laughing.

"Yeah twin, I was a little worried there for a second." Madison said, nudging me. I just smiled, and was still a little faint.

**"****Yeah, I thought I was a goner for sure. He looks so good, oh my god. I would give anything to hug him. Seriously..."** It had no say so after that, Madison and Amity gripped my arms and we exited the Question and Answer spot just as the Walking Dead cast were entering. Thankfully, I had already seen the Weasley twins, but had never been called on for a question. Though, I was happy to find out they were both single. Now, we were facing all the merchandise. Of course, I had no money to buy anything, but looking couldn't hurt.


	2. VOLUME: II

My Life With James McAvoy

VOLUME: II

By: Lianna's Fiction

It felt like forever had passed, and really had only been about an hour or two. I had managed to snag a few cheap Harry Potter necklaces, rings, and bracelets. Though they were surprisingly cheap. I had to stop though. Buying anything else would have resorted into me having to skip dinner. All of the celebrities were done with their Question and Answer spotlights. Now, they were moving on to walking around, meeting fans, and signing things. Some of them had booths, but a few celebrities refused to sit behind a booth. I wanted to have so many things signed, but I had no money for that too happen. So, instead of bouncing over to booths, I stood with my two best friends staring at the others. Everyone seemed so happy, and for a second I wanted to be in their places. That was until a voice broke my fantasies of being rich, and a strong cologne hit me. Realizing I had been staring, I quickly looked up to a very familiar face.

**"****Excuse me, you're the one that asked me the only good question."** Was this really happening to me? **"****What's your name?"** He wanted to know my name? What am I too him? I am nothing, he is everything. It wasn't making any sense. Clearing my throat, I stood up straighter. Trying not to act like a complete idiot.

**"****La Toya, it's nice to meet you, officially. Oh, and you're welcome. I didn't get to say it earlier."** I smiled, and he offered his hand. At first, I was freaking out, and my heart spazzed. Thankfully, my brain functioned long enough to let my hand latch onto his. Then, he turned my hand over, and kissed it lightly. I cannot tell you how bright red my cheeks became. With my complexion, and skin tone it was evident. He smiled, and I could have sworn there was a similar blush on his cheeks.

**"****That's a beautiful name, for a beautiful girl."** Did he just call me beautiful? So many thoughts were racing through my mind, but the most important one was the fact James McAvoy thought I was beautiful.

**"****I'm not beautiful..."** That was all I could say? Man, I really needed some speech practice. Perhaps I should have practiced in front of the mirror before coming up here? His face went serious, and I could swear those blue eyes were seeing into a part of my soul that I didn't even know existed. He leaned in closer to me, I could feel his body temperature as he was close enough that I could have easily kissed his nose.

**"****Oh, but you are. You're the most beautiful creature that I've ever laid eyes on." **I felt my heart literally stop in my chest. I wanted to close my eyes, I wanted to scream, but I couldn't. His eyes captured me so perfectly, and I could do nothing but stand victim.

**"****W-what about your wife?"** Had I really asked that? Heavens, La Toya, are you as dumb as you look? Why on earth would I ask such a ridiculous question? He didn't like personal questions, but part of me felt offended really. He was saying I was prettier than his wife? Did he say this to girls often? Was he wanting me to be a victim of possible secret affairs? His eyes dropped for a second. I could see a gleam of light exit as I spoke.

**"****I don't have a wife..." **His words were cold, but not directed at me. More so, they were directed around me. He didn't mean them to be dark, or frostbit. Actually, he more so wanted to inform me. While I could clearly see there was an underlying problem that he obviously hadn't shared with the world. At the same time, it was something he wanted to tell someone.

**"****I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that..."** I dropped my head, I felt dumber than anyone else in the universe. How could I have asked something so personal? I bit into his personal space, but since he obviously felt attracted to me. Well, he was forced to answer. He didn't want me to think he was cheating, or flirting while be married. Which, I had to admit, was a good thing. While at the same time, I felt a little saddened for him. His parents had divorced, and I vaguely remembered him discussing his ideas on the topic. He said something about, Divorce is not an option. So, did she die? I was curious, but I didn't want to pry. He seemed to realize the distinct air that came to the room. The negativity I was conveying, as I was extremely concerned. Yet he knew I respected him far to much to pry any further. I had been staring to the right of him, and at the ground. Considering I still felt terrible for saying such a thing to him.

**"****No, it's alright, actually... I've been meaning to tell someone. It's just personal, and I don't really trust anyone. It seems money is all anyone cares about these days."** Which was completely understandable. I looked back up at him, slowly, but our eyes finally locked again. He looked deeply into mine, but cleared his throat. Looking between both of my friends. They got the hint though, and I watched as my two anchors disappeared. Now what if I fainted? Who could catch me? James looked into my eyes still, and though I had been a little distracted by my friends' disappearances. He didn't seem distracted at all. **"****We, divorced. I'm sure you've heard my views on that topic, if you're as big of a fan as you say. Which, I'm not saying you aren't." **It was clear he was nervous, but I just nodded as he spoke. Letting him know I understood what he meant. "**We had differences, many differences, and it's actually the reason I've been doing so many exposed movies lately. **_**Trance**_**and **_**Filth**_**both due to differences between the two of us. While she went out flirting with anything that had a male part... I started doing movies that had anything to do with exposing myself, and sex scenes."** He had admitted so much to me. Part of me was frightened, but I understood. It made sense. The way he made it sound though, she had cheated on him? It was hard to believe she only flirted.

**"****Oh."** It was all I could manage to say, and his eyes had slowly trailed away as he spoke. Once I had replied, his eyes went straight back up to me.

**"****How old are you?"** This question took my by surprise. Not because I didn't want to answer him, but because it was off topic.

**"****Twenty-three, you're Thirty-Eight now, right?" **I looked at him, believing myself to be correct. He nodded, and I watched him closely. It looked like tears were forming in his eyes, but I wasn't to sure. Not until he looked at me, and I saw his eyes were quite glassy. I felt my heart break, and though it still hadn't beat since before. I knew it was there due to how much pain it was in seeing him cry. **"****Don't cry... Please..."** He looked at me, his face became sadder, and my heart died a little more. So, out of pure instinct I did what anyone with a brain would have. I reached out to him, and forced him to relax in my arms. At first, I thought he was going to be offended, but I knew he needed it. The tears, they were real, and I knew that anything I thought was right between the two of them. Well, it had been a lie. Just a cover-up for a truth that he was afraid to admit to anyone. **"****It's going to be okay, and you know how I know?"** He sniffled a little, but I kept holding him. His arms were wrapped around me now, and I felt confident in myself. **"****Because you're a wonderful man. Inside and out, you're absolutely perfect, and I mean it."** He laughed a little, but it was through tears.

**"****Nobody's perfect."** I shook my head, and rubbed his back.

**"****My sense of perfection is knowing and seeing all the flaws of a person, but know it makes them only more perfect in one's eyes."** That seemed to do the trick, or do something. He stopped crying, and pulled back. James was looking at me, directly in the eyes. For some reason, I was afraid to move. What was this gorgeous creature thinking?

**"****Well, then I'd like to let you know how perfect you are. Honestly, I've never opened up to anyone."** He smiled through tears, and quickly dried his face off with his suit sleeve. I was smiling at him, and he smiled back at me. **"****What are you doing after this?"** Whoa, was he going to ask me out? Was James McAvoy really going to ask me out? My heart started up again, and I was thankful to hear it. Considering I was starting to grow concerned of whether it was still pumping any blood through my body. I almost couldn't speak, but I forced myself too. I couldn't let anyone else take this shot.

**"****Well, my friend's and I were going to eat at Steak N' Shake. I have just enough money to get a bowl of chili and a soda." **I smiled, and that was all it took.

**"****Mind if I come along? I can follow behind the three of you?"** My heart was beating to fast now. I swore it was vibrating my chest. He wanted to go out with me! Well, sort of, it wasn't technically a date unless he paid.

**"****Of course!"**

**"****Your friends' won't mind?"** He looked hopeful, and I waved my hand.

**"****No, of course not! They'd be excited to have you come!"** The two of us were smiling now, widely, and he nodded.

**"****Well, now's as good a time as ever. Did you guys have anything else you were doing?"** I shook my head as he was talking.

**"****I don't think so. I came to see you."** His eyes widened, and I felt a little prideful.

**"****I'm flattered, really. A gorgeous girl like you, coming to see me?"** Why was he so flattered? He's overly attractive. Of course, that didn't mean he thought so.

**"****Well, you're the most attractive man I've ever laid on eyes on. Not to mention, your charm and smile. The most stunning thing I've ever seen."** Had I just said all that? My eyes went a little wider, since I was afraid of what all I had just said. Instead, he just pulled me into a hug. His hand gripped the back of my head. I could smell his delicious cologne, and I took the feeling of his perfectly chiseled body. One of the happiest moments' of my life.

**"****You have no idea what that means to me."** I was smiling against his chest, but I was perfectly fine staying that way for the rest of eternity. It had to end though, and he pulled back. So, naturally, I had to pull back as well.

**"****Well, now we have to find my friends."** He smiled.

**"****They've been standing about three yards behind us this whole time. I kept watching them when I wasn't talking."** That made sense, I had been wondering where his eyes were wandering sometimes. I watched him motion for them, and in a matter of seconds they were back on either side of me.

**"****So, whats up?" **Amity asked quickly, and I smiled.

**"****Would it be too much of a bother if I joined you three at Steak N' Shake?"** Madison and Amity were pretty excited, but they acted exactly as I had expected.

**"****No! Of course not!" **Amity spoke with excitement.

**"****We would be honored!"** Madison chimed in. I looked at him with a _told you so_ look, but he smiled.

**"****Alright, well, let's go. I'll follow you three. Meet me at the stoplight. There was a small parking lot there, we can meet up at."** I nodded, and then we both shared a glance. The glance seemed to last forever, but really it was only a few seconds. Then, he disappeared, and so did we. We exited through the front doors, and quickly got inside of the car.

**"****What did he say?"**

**"****Does he like you?"**

**" ****Is this a date?"**

**"****Did you exchange numbers?"**

**"****Does he smell good?"**

**"****What's his body feel like?" **The last question had Amity looking at Madison like she was crazy. **"****What?"** I only shook my head, and Madison started the car.

**"****He said a lot of things, I think so, I'm not sure, not yet, amazing, and I would die to touch it again."** I hit every answer in one, and they seemed pleased.

**"****I'm guessing you're not going to tell us what he said?"** I shook my head.

**"****No, he likes to keep his personal life, personal. So, no I won't tell you. All I can tell you, is that he **_**is **_**single. Nothing else though."** I crossed my arms, but realized that I still hadn't put my seat belt on. So, I quickly did that. Though we were in the parking lot waiting for James as soon as I clicked it. **"****Whoa, that parking lot was closer than expected."**

**"****Yeah, and he's not here yet. Hopefully it doesn't take him forever." **We were speaking like he was just an old friend, and that made me smile. Really, it felt so natural to say James McAvoy and I were going to Steak N' Shake with my two best friends. That was a good thing right? It felt good. I had no idea at the beginning that a forced trip to Comic-Con would turn out to be the greatest time in my life. Now, let's hope he doesn't stand me up. It's our first date, at least, I guess that's what this is.


	3. VOLUME: III

My Life With James McAvoy

VOLUME: III

By: Lianna's Fiction

It really wasn't long at all, maybe a few more minutes. None of us knew what he would pull up in, but when a flashy car pulled in next to us. Well, we knew it was him, who else could it possibly be? Rolling his passenger window down, he smiled as my twin rolled hers down. **"Ready when you are."** She gave a nod, but wasted no more time. Kicking her car into drive, she took off with James trailing behind us.

**"****You know, you don't have to drive 500,000 miles an hour. He's not as familiar about this place as we are."** I chortled, and my twin simply rolled her eyes with a sigh.

**"****Fine, I'll slow down, but he's slow."** I rolled my eyes as well, but couldn't help but look behind us. James McAvoy was there, following us to our destination. It was hard to believe really, hard to take in, but I was trying my best. I didn't want to feel strange, or awkward. I wanted this to all be natural, easy, and comfortable. That wasn't going to happen though, and I could already feel the butterflies fluttering in my stomach.

**"****I can't believe this... It's so... Amazing, but like crazy all at the same time." **My heart was fluttering with my stomach.

**"****Yeah, it's pretty cool. Are you nervous?"** It was just like Amity to ask such a question. She knew I was, and that meant a lot. I had been around many celebrities, but had always been able to keep such a level head. She probably took a bit of humor and pride from the way I melted with James. I inhaled deeply, and exhaled fast.

**"****Very, very nervous. Which is a first, but I think I'll be okay. Just gotta keep myself breathing."** That seemed easy for people, and it was a natural thing for humans. Babies were born knowing how to breathe, usually, but this was going to make it difficult.

**"****You'll be fine, really. You've got this!"** A little support helped ease my mind a bit, but I noticed it drift away as we entered the parking lot of my favorite restaurant. _This is going to be horrible..._ I was quite a negative person, and even though I had James right where I wanted him. Something inside of me was afraid I was going to mess it up, or maybe he'd find someone prettier? I was always thinking of the worst in situations, which didn't always turn out to be a bad thing. At least this way I wouldn't be as disappointed if he ran off with some other gal. **"Here we are! You ready?"** Amity spoke again, and I nodded nervously.

We each exited the car in order, and as soon as I hopped out my heart was back on edge. It was thumping wildly against the inside of my chest. I was sure to have a heart-attack if things heated up between us. As his cologne drifted toward me, I turned to see him next to me. It was so difficult keeping my hands off of him. I will admit, I'm a pretty sexual person, but when it comes to guys I always freeze up. Something in my brain shuts down if I actually get to the point where they want to go further than kissing. It made no sense really, but I guess since I usually joke around sexually. It's a bit different then actually doing sexual things. James, he just made it difficult to do either. I wanted to kiss him, hold his hand, cuddle, and other things that really shouldn't be mentioned just yet.

**"****Hello again, beautiful."** My heart stopped beating suddenly, and I was stuck in his eyes. He was so flawlessly gorgeous, and every inch of him was a masterpiece. I felt a gargle in my throat as I tried to force words out.

**"****Hi..."** That was well enough, and he smirked at me. Which didn't help my stopped heart, and I realized in that second I hadn't been breathing. I took in a deep breath, probably a little noisier than I had planned it to be. James seemed to ignore it, or not pay attention. Instead, he offered his arm in a triangle for me. I simply slipped my hand through his arm, and he led us behind Madison and Amity. **"So, what do you usually get here?"** Was that good question? I wasn't even sure if he had ever been to Steak N' Shake. We grew closer to the door, and he gripped the edge of it so us girls could enter.

**"****Usually just get a steak burger,. I've never had their chili. Is it good?"** This, this was the beginning of a new obsession for him. He had never had their chili? Wow, I had to introduce him to a new indulging, diet breaking food.

**"****Is it good, is it good? It's amazing! It's only the greatest bowl of heaven to ever enter this earth! I've never had anything as amazing as Steak N' Shake chili. You **_**have**_** to try it, now!"** I wasn't sure if he liked my demanding nature that approached, but he laughed lightly. I blushed a little. **"O-only if you want to. I promise you it's great!"** I smiled cheekily at him, and he smirked. A woman approached, and Madison quickly told her a booth for four.

**"****I'll try it, no harm in that."** _Success. _At least, I felt that way about it. If he became obsessed with it, this was something that could live with him for the rest of his life. Steak N' Shake chili was amazing, and if he had similar taste buds as me. Well, he'd nearly orgasm with just a thoughts drifted as I imagined what he might be like in mid-orgasm. Whoa, what was I thinking? _Get your head on straight, Toy._ I felt stupid, and as we approached the booth. James held his hand out, letting me slide in first and then sat beside me. I looked over at my twin, and Amity as they smiled wildly behind the menus. Peaking out to give me a thumbs up.

**"****So, I'm ready, do you guys know what you want?"** I spoke nervously, and then glanced at him. Why is he so amazing? Seriously, he sent my heart into cardiac arrest when he was around. It was like I had no oxygen unless he was beside me. _That's what No Air by Chris Brown featuring Jordin Sparks meant..._ That song suddenly made more sense to me now, than it ever had before. Amity broke my thoughts.

**"****I'm ready!"** James had glanced at the menu, but he seemed to already have his mind made up. Madison nodded.

**"****Me too."** We all looked at James, and he glanced up. He hadn't realized we were staring at him.

**"****Oh, so am I."** I caught sight of a light blush that covered his cheeks, and it was contagious. I blushed lightly as well, and the woman took both Madison and Amity's order before moving on to me. I looked over, glad the blush had left my cheeks, and ordered.

**"****I'll have a bowl of chili with just cheese, and a Dr. Pepper."** I smiled widely, and looked at him.

**"****You know, if you want anything else you can order it."** Okay, I was almost certain that meant he was going to pay for it? Would that be a date? I was a little confused, but I shook my head.

**"****We could get shakes afterward, but I need to make sure I can finish the chili first."** I blushed, and he set his hand on mine. Both my hands were set on the table, and my heart fluttered. He silently laughed, and turned to the waitress.

**"****I'll have a single steak burger,with cheese, and a small cup of chili, also with cheese. With a glass of water."** The woman nodded, and took the menus from us before disappearing. He looked at me, and slowly removed his hand. Though he did so absentmindedly. **"Well, I hope their chili is good. If not, I'll force feed you the rest of it."** I laughed, a bit too loudly, and his eyes widened. Then he laughed loudly too. I covered my hands over my mouth, feeling dumb.** "You, are an absolute doll, you know that? You're absolutely adorable."** My cheeks were bright red now.

**"****Oh, no, no. I'm not. Seriously, I'm an ugly loser."** His eyes went serious, and his smile instantly faded.

**"****No, you're amazing. I never want to hear you talk so down about yourself again. I don't want to have to give you a spanking." **Why did my mind have to think of that as so perverted? My eyes widened, and he instantly understood what I had thought of that. **"Oh, heavens, I should... I should just stop talking, before I get myself into a mess."** My lips rolled together, and I tried to hold my laugh in. Instead, I laid my hands down, and rested my head on them. Laughing, but I think he thought I was crying. He laid a hand on my back, and spoke with a curious voice. **"What's wrong?"** Sitting up, and laughing. I shook my head.

**"****Nothing, nothing. You're just perfect, and this is the greatest day of my life." **That was the truth, and I truly felt that way. He smiled, and a light blush formed on his cheeks again. **"You are hilarious, and I love it. I love everything about you."** My smile faded, and I realized I might have said to much. I looked at him, hoping I didn't scare him off, but he looked at me. A smile forming on his lips.

**"****Good, because you're never getting rid of me now."** For some reason, I smiled with a raised eyebrow and was completely okay with that.

**"****Well, have to say. I'm perfectly alright with that."**


	4. VOLUME: IV

My Life With James McAvoy

VOLUME: IV

**By: Lianna's Fiction**

The moments passed, and we were mostly silent. I couldn't think of what to say? There were so many things I wanted to talk about, but I didn't want him to think I was prying. All I knew, was that I was enjoying the closeness far to much. I didn't want to mess things up, and so I kept quiet. Stealing a few glances at him, and looking away when he looked at me. I must have blushed half a dozen times before the waitress returned with our drinks, a cup of chili, and a bowl of chili. Along with two small plates that held crackers, and spoons. We helped her set things down, and took what was ours. I stole another look at James as he looked at his chili. The look on his face seemed to say _not to bad_, and I took that as a good thing.

**"Looks pretty great."** His voice warmed my heart, but I was a little distracted. I reminded myself not to slurp and eat like a hog. Honestly, I couldn't make any promises to myself. Nothing like that, not with this delicious bowl of chili sitting in front of me. I did a usual routine of opening the crackers, and throwing them into my bowl. Mixing it thoroughly, and I tried to ignore the fact he was watching everything I did. I wasn't sure if he had really tasted their chili or not. For all I knew, he had and was pretending to not have. Just so that we could have a _moment_ together. Taking a bite of it. Well, I felt breathless again, and I enjoyed it. **"You're moaning."** My eyes widened, and I swallowed quickly. One cracker hadn't been fully chewed and I choked for a second until it went down.

**"Sorry..."** James didn't mind though, he looked like he was intrigued by my moaning, and my mind wandered once again to dirty thoughts. **"Did you try it yet?"** He smirked at me, and then took a bite. I almost couldn't look at his face, and that was just in case he didn't like it. I looked back at him, and he nodded. I watched his adam's apple move, letting me know he had swallowed the chili.

**"That's really...terrible..."** My heart sunk, and I almost felt like crying. He looked at me, holding back a laugh, but I was slightly offended.

**"What? No, no. It's not, you're crazy..."** I turned my head away from him, and I felt my body grow rigid. He was personally offending me by saying it was terrible. I actually felt like crying a little bit, and I stared mindlessly at the table. My head rested on my fist, and I didn't touch my chili. I noticed in my peripheral vision that he had scooped up another spoonful, and then he leaned over to me.

**"Well, ready to be force fed?"** I looked over at him, feeling quite upset. Not sure if I could do any of this anymore. If someone didn't like my chili. Well, I usually didn't get along with them. I looked at him still, with a serious look. **"Come on, don't be upset. Look, I really do like it. I just wanted to mess around with you."** I watched him eat another bite of it, but I was still upset. So, I just turned my head, and continued thinking about things. Was he lying to me now? It was a cute gesture, and the fact he was willing to eat something he didn't like to make me feel better. That was a good thing, right? I wasn't sure if I wanted that though. So, I looked back at him, and sighed.

**"You don't have to pretend, if you don't like it. Then don't eat it, seriously. It's fine..."** It clearly _wasn't_ fine, but I didn't want to let this stand between us. Seriously, a cup of chili was going to stand between James and I? If it were anything else, it wouldn't have mattered. Chili was one of the only things I cared about most of the time, it was something from my past. It just, it was the only food that I could live off of. James set his spoon in his bowl, and I looked away from him again. Madison and Amity looked at us, they had stopped eating for a second, but when I gave them a look of _what_? Well, they started eating again, ignoring us. I wasn't paying attention, but my heart seemed to flutter back to life when I felt an arm around my back.

**"I'm not pretending, really. It's really good, and I do like it. I just wanted to force feed you, and make you laugh."** I didn't look at him, I couldn't. **"Now you think that I'm lying to you. God, I screw everything up."** This time, he turned away. Pulling his arm back, and setting his elbows on the table. James rested his head in his heads, and letting his fingers circulate around his eyes. Now I started to feel bad, but I was still unsure if he was lying or not. _Don't let this end things, don't. You'll regret it, and you've never regretted anything in your whole life._ My mind was so unsure, and lost. I looked at him, and scooted over closer. Putting my head near his face. I waited for him to look at me. Slowly, he turned his head and looked at me. **"What?"** I frowned, pouting my bottom lip out.

**"If you really do like it, then eat it. I just really love chili, and it leads back to my childhood. So, I tend to get a little emotional with it. Really, if you like it, then good. Because I love it..."** I meant all of it sincerely, and I pouted my bottom lip out again. James rubbed his left eye, and looked at me. He tried so hard not to smile, but he couldn't. **"You know, that pouted lip of yours makes it really hard to act serious." **He laughed lightly, and I smiled laughing a little too.

**"Why do you think I'm doing it?"** Letting him know that I was trying to make sure the mood was lightened. James leaned in a little closer to me, and I felt my heart really stop now. We were only a few inches apart, and I knew what his intentions were. He wanted to kiss me. James McAvoy wanted to kiss me. We were looking back and forth to each others eyes, and he grew just a bit closer. I could feel his chili breath on me, and his cologne still as strong as ever. _CLING, CLING, CLING._

**"Bloody..."** James had pulled away, as plates clanged to the table. Naturally, the stupid waitress _ruined_ my moment. I sighed, and turned back to my bowl of chili. Taking a few more bites, as he dressed his burger with whatever he needed. Madison handing him the spices and such that he wanted. He finished his burger before I finished my chili, and I just finished my chili when he finished his own chili as well. **"That chili, it really is great. Especially, with cheese. Really brings out more flavor."** I was still in denial of him actually liking it though, but my ears perked as I heard him whisper something to the waitress. Oh god, was he hitting on her? Was he using the same lines he did with me? She was alright looking, but still. He was still on a_ date_ with me? Was he really hitting on someone else? I couldn't look at him. I was too angry, and instead I kept staring at my empty chili bowl. The only thing that caught my attention was the impact of something quite light, making contact with the side of my head. I looked at him, and saw the straw that sat between his lips. A white straw wrapper fell off my shoulder, and he quickly shuffled to pick it up.

**"You're going to hit my with straw wrappers now? You offend me with my chili, and now you're beating me up?"** I was joking, and he just laughed and slipped the wrapper back on the straw. **"Don't, I wi-"** He blew it at me again, and I barely put my hands up in time to deflect it. I looked at him, and my mouth clenched together a bit.** "You asked for it!"** I went towards him, and my plan was to tickle him. He lunged out of the way, and as soon as my fingers touched his side I froze. I was touching his side? He didn't seem to be as nearly distracted as me though. James instantly reversed the tables and started to tickle me. I scrambled back, but I was backed into the corner now. I had no where to go. **"No, no, no! Don't! Stop!"** I was a bit loud, but his fingers were just doing to many things to me, and I felt his right hand travel from my side, down my back. I arched my back, trying to get away from his devilish fingers. It wasn't working, and then his hand fell further down. That was when _he_ got distracted. James froze when his hand was resting against my butt. I instantly tried to reverse things, and grabbed one of Madison's fries. Throwing it at him, and he jumped back. Covering his face, but he reached for his own fries that had come with his burger. Throwing them at me. One landed down my shirt, and I put my hands up.** "Stop! One fell down my shirt!"**

** "Would you like me to get it?"** I looked at him, and his cheeks went red. I looked at him, with wide eyes. Just for a second, I almost said _yes._

**"No, crazy!"** He laughed, a little but I think he felt a little rejected. I reached down, and retrieved the lost fry. Throwing it in my empty chili bowl. He swiftly changed the subject.

**"So, shakes anyone?" **He pointed his fingers at Madison and Amity. The two of them both shook their heads and proclaimed signs of fullness. Then he looked at me, with a grin. **"You, are getting, a shake. What kind?"** I looked at him, with a raised eyebrow. **"Oh, I can do that too!"** He raised one of his eyebrows at me, and I looked away. Shaking my head, I thought for a moment before turning back to him.

**"Cookies N' Creme."**

** "Oh, excellent, choice! Should we share one, or are you against that?"** My friends perked their ears to that. They knew my germ freak tendencies, but they also knew that I did share things with people I kissed. Plus, he was James McAvoy after all.

**"I'll try and share, but I call the cherry!"** He gave a sly grin, and for a second I was curious of what he was thinking again. At last, the waitress appeared again, never fear. She's always around to interrupt a great moment. He turned to her.

**"One **_**large**_** Cookies N' Cream shake to go. Thank you."** I looked at him, and he turned back to me. He smiled widely, then let his smile fall. **"So, where do you live? Do you live around here?"** Oh, so he was going to ask questions about me? At least this way I wasn't talking about myself.

**"I actually live about three hours away. In a town called Greenmont."** James nodded, satisfied with my answer.

**"So, are you three staying in a hotel, or driving back tonight?"** I let my eyebrows squeeze together slightly, and was a little curious. Was he wanting for us to stay at a hotel? Was he staying at a hotel? I looked into his eyes, but he seemed to be curious. Still, there was something behind his eyes, a meaning. I'd figure it out, even if I had to pry it out of him later.


	5. VOLUME: V

My Life With James McAvoy

VOLUME: V

**By: Lianna's Fiction**

"**We were going to drive back tonight, why?"** I looked at him, letting my curiosity be known. He let his hand rub over his mouth, and then looked up at me.

**"I was, I was just curious. When are you, leaving?"** Suddenly, I understood his concern. What if this was all for not? What if, after this we never saw each other again? I looked at him, feeling a bit of sadness. Then I looked at Madison, and she shrugged.

**"We need to head home soon, or else I'll fall asleep driving."** I looked down, and felt my heart beating slowly. Was this the end of the greatest day ever? James had looked away too, and he was clearly a little disappointed as well. At this moment, the waitress appeared with our shake, and I quickly took it from her, but set it to the side. Being sure to keep a hold of it with my left hand.

**"Well, how about I take you home tomorrow?"** I looked at him, my eyebrows squeezing together yet again. Take me home? Well, what did that mean? Where was I going to stay tonight? Wait, wait... Did that mean? Oh, god did that mean me staying in his hotel with him tonight? Then, he could take me home tomorrow morning? What about tomorrow? Would I never see him again? Were we just delaying the goodbyes?

**"I don't really have enough money to rent a room..." **I was starting to get a little smarter about how I worded things. Maybe that would force him to let me stay with him? What if he just wanted to rent a separate room?

** "You could stay with me, in my room!"** Just like that, my heart sped up like a firecracker. It was like a rocket ready for take off, and I took in a deep breath. The light in my eyes returning.

**"Really? I mean, are you sure?"** He seemed to have his mind made up though. Nodding, he slapped his hand on the table. Barely missing his plate, and cup.

**"It's settled, now. Girls, give me your money, and I'll go up and pay the bill. Then, you can come with me, and they can head home."** Madison and Amity had already been figuring prices, and offered him the money. I took that moment to start searching in my wallet.

**"Wait, I can't. I don't have any clothes or anything with me. I'll have to take a shower in the morning, and I don't have my shampoo or anything either."** I frowned at him, but he smiled.

**"Then let's all go shopping. The mall is still open for at least another hour or two I'm sure. It's only a little past nine."** I looked at him, and he seemed to mean well. Why didn't he understand I was poor?

**"James, that sounds great, if I had money."** I shook my head, and checked the bill for my part. Then started counting at my money.

**"It's not a problem, really. I'll be right back."** Before I could hand him my money, he disappeared. With the check, Madison's money, Amity's money, and his wallet in hand. I looked after him, and then back to them.

**"I didn't get to give him any money?"** My brain hadn't processed it at first, but Madison and Amity both seemed overly excited.

**"It's a date, he's paying for yours and his! And, you're both staying in a hotel together!" **Amity was a little over excited.

**"Twin, you have to tell us _everything_ that happens when he brings you back tomorrow!"** It's true then? This was our first date! My heart was fluttering again, and the butterflies twisted and knotted together in my stomach. It was like a dream come true. I couldn't help but watch him as he paid for everything. Sliding his card through the slot, and punching his code in. He was so, amazing. Even if he never believed he was. I thought of him as amazing and everything I had ever dreamed of. Maybe someday he'd see what I see?

**"Oh, I will, well not _everything_, but I'll tell you _almost_ everything."** I laughed a little, but he was a pretty fast walker. It was only a matter of seconds before I heard his voice again.

**"Ready?"** We all shuffled quickly out of the booth, and too our vehicles. **"Now, I might need one of you with me, because I'll get lost ."** I knew what that meant, and I turned to him. He smiled down at me.

**"I'll go with you, and make sure we get there."** I looked up into those baby blue eyes, and even in the darkness they were so bright. His eyes, they did things to me, just like his fingers. Then, I turned around, and he quickly hurried to open the driver side door for me. Wait, why was he doing that? Come to think of it, why had he been in the passenger side before? Oh, wow, how did I over look that? Of course, he's Scottish and lived in London for quite some time. They drive on the opposite side, and their steering wheel is on the opposite side too. It made sense, and I quickly slipped into the vehicle. It was warm, and cozy. Most importantly, it smelled like him, and I took in a deep breath. Remembering in one instant, to click that seat belt. Which is what I did, quickly, and he stepped into his vehicle as well. **"Your car, is gorgeous."**

**"Thank you, it's really beautiful. You should drive it some time."** I shook my head, because just no. I couldn't drive such a gorgeous car. I'd be to freaked out, thinking I was going to wreck it. He started his vehicle, and quickly took off after Madison. **"Why does she drive so fast?"** I laughed as he said that. Really, it was just hilarious.

**"I yelled at her earlier for driving to fast, but since I'm not in there to complain. Well, I could text Am and tell her to tell Maddy to slow down." **Pulling my phone out I did, and not long after it sent did the Grand Am slow down. I laughed to myself, and so did he.

** "Guessing you text her?"** I nodded as I kept laughing.

**"Yeah, haha."** The drive wasn't too long, but then again. I had been focusing on breathing and keeping up with Madison's car. Which still wasn't an easy job, even though she had slowed down. Once we did arrive at the mall, I turned to get out of the vehicle, but a hand stopped me. I had just clicked the seat belt buckle, and had grabbed it with my other hand. Making sure it didn't slap me in the face or something as it reeled back in. A warm hand touched mine, and I turned to look at him. His blue eyes were quite serious.

**"Anything you want, you get, alright? Don't ask me if it's to much, or if it's to expensive. If you like it, and it's what you want. Grab it, and I'll get it."** I looked at him, and my eyebrows pulled together again. Could I do that? I was raised with worrying about money and prices. I always went for cheap clothes, and products? I wasn't sure if I could handle the freedom of getting whatever I wanted. I nodded, and then we both exited the vehicle. I'll spare you the details of shopping, because nothing interesting was really happening. We went to Wet Seal, and I really didn't like anything in there. Aeropostale, Old Navy, Hollister, Hot Topic, Bath & Body Works, Spencer's (you can only imagine what happened there)... I'll stop there, and let you in on that, because it was quite hilarious. James acted as if he'd never been in Spencer's, but I'm thinking he had been.

**"Well, this looks like an interesting place."** I had to force myself not to laugh, and tried to pretend I was in a movie scene or something. That way I kept my cool.

"**You should see the back."** I said to him, and he cocked his head a bit. I grabbed his hand, whether he was willing or not. Pulled him all the way to the back, and the look on his face nearly had me on the ground in laughter. The sex toys, pictures, videos, and cards. Everything, his eyes were so wide, and I just gripped his hand with a smile. **"I love this part of the store."** I winked at him, and he looked at me. Moving his head a bit, and stepping closer to me. I let go of his hand, as he was clearly on a mission. His hand slipped around my waist, and pressed against my lower back. Due to the fact he was only a few inches taller than me, we were perfect height. James pulled me closer to him, and I looked up into his eyes. He looked down at me with interest, motivation, and a little bit of passion.

**"Is that so? Well, you won't mind me getting a few things then, right?"** I forced myself to keep my cool, and I winked again. He pulled me a little bit closer, which had my chest against his. Our bodies were pressed together, and he used his free hand to brush some hair back. His fingers were tangled in my hair now, and he looked at me closer. **"Great, why don't you and your friends busy yourselves. I'll get a few things, a surprise."** I looked at him, and my heart. I really was concerned. I was certain I was close to cardiac arrest now. Things were so heated, and I just wanted more. I wanted more of him, and I wanted us to be alone and closer. Then, he bent down, but went past my lips. My eyebrows went together, but what he did I hadn't expected. His lips pressed again my neck, and I lost my breath. I felt the light kiss, as his lips suctioned against my skin for second. Then he pulled back, and looked me in the eyes. I had closed my eyes, and my mouth was slightly parted. A grin fell against his lips. Opening my eyes, I looked at him, and nodded.

**"Okay."** That was really all I could say, but we pulled back from each other and I skipped off to my friends. As soon as I saw them, they instantly bounced.

**"Holy crap, you're gonna have sex tonight." **Madison said, and I looked at her.

**"What, no, no... No."** Amity nodded with Madison.

**"Oh yeah, he's gonna get some kinky handcuffs and stuff, and then you two are totally gonna do it!"** My heart sped up again, and I looked at her.

**"You know what? I am overwhelmed right now..."** I looked at their hands, remembering all I had bought. Nothing sexual, but heavens. He was probably thinking of buying something for me, like lingerie. **"One of you, Amity, go tell him what size I wear. I do not want him getting me something way to small. Just nonchalantly talk to him, and if he asks. Tell him."** They both knew my size, but Amity wasn't a virgin. So, she'd no more about speaking that way. I grabbed Madison's arm, and we strolled off reading a few things. Time passed rather quickly then, and though I had no idea what he had bought. All I knew was that he had two bags, and wasn't letting me peak at all. We were out of the mall, just when they were about to close. **"I can't even peak?" **I proclaimed as we approached the cars.

**"No, it'll ruin the surprise!"** I rolled my eyes, and he popped his trunk. After setting his things in it, he turned to walk over to me. I had hugged my friends, and shared goodbyes. They wished me luck, and to give it my all. Amity was trying to give me last minute sex tips, and I was definitely listening. Since, well, I hadn't really much experience and she'd had a boyfriend for many years now. It all slowed down when they waved goodbye to him, and he stepped over to me. I looked at him, and as soon as we made eye contact he had me pressed up against my side of the car. **"You know, you are very intriguing? I don't think that I've ever wanted someone quite as much as I do now."** Taking in a deep breath, I slowly let it exhale. Trying not to widen my eyes to much, and felt my heart pounding as he set his right hand on the car, next to my shoulder. Then his other, pressed against my side. I felt the lust, the passion, the yearn as he pressed his body against me. I wanted him, and I wanted every inch of him. Every last part of him, and I wanted it forever.


	6. VOLUME: VI

My Life With James McAvoy

VOLUME: VI

**By: Lianna's Fiction**

The drive back to his hotel room was surprisingly quiet. I was nervous again, and so uncertain of the future events that were soon to unfold. How would it go? Would he see me naked and be horrified? I felt all the insecurities pumping through my system, and I had to hold back tears. It was a never ending battle over my self-esteem issues, and I had been hurt so many times before. So many guys had called me ugly, or proclaimed that I needed to lose weight before they'd even consider me. Most that didn't have an opinion on the matter, wanted to use and abuse me. It was typical these days, but it was so difficult to trust. Especially to trust someone like him. Not that he himself was a bad person. Just the general fact he was famous, and could have anyone that he wanted. The only thing that kept me sane, was the fact that he was with _me._ That obviously meant he _does_ like me, and that even though he could have anyone he _wanted_. He wants _me._

**"****Well, here we are."** As we pulled into the parking lot of... Whoa, this is The Ritz-Carlton. I had never seen it really, not this close up. This was the top notch of hotels in St. Louis. It was around $250 to $600 a night. I had been looking around me, not really listening or paying attention to him. I was in awe over the structure of the whole building. It was massive, and I felt breathless with it. Of course, that wasn't even in comparison to the things he could do to me, not even in the _slightest._**"You know, it's going to be a challenge giving you back tomorrow. I might just keep you."** That caught my attention. I turned to look at him, a sheepish smile sat on his mouth. I smirked at him, and quickly get out of the vehicle. In the midst of looking at the building from an outside-of-the-car view, James had retrieved all of the bags. I turned when I heard rustling of things.

**"****Oh, I can carry something."** He pulled them away, and shook his head. I snapped my right fingers. **"Darn."** I almost got a peak, but he was quick.

**"****Nice try, but you're going to have to be quicker than that."**He smirked, and whistled as he headed toward the elevator. He set the bags down for a second, and I heard a horn. I jerked around to see the headlights flash.**"Someone's a wee bit jumpy tonight, aye?"** I felt my cheeks flush as I looked back at him. He smiled at me, and his bright blue eyes seemed to see into my soul again. I messed with my hair, and as the doors opened we stepped into it. No one must have been awake at this hour. It was just after midnight now, and that meant we were completely alone. We stood in the elevator, and it was silent. He gripped the bags, and I clutched the side of my pants. The tension was rising, the needs, the yearning for each other. I could feel it. I wasn't sure if he could, considering I had always been quite in-touch with emotions. I had a gift for feeling what others felt, but it was hardly considered a magical power. No, it was just my empathy levels were very high. If someone cried, I felt their pain and could cry with them. If someone was happy, I could feel it magnified by a thousand. In this moment, I had to squeeze the pockets of my pants to keep from attacking him. The doors stayed close as I realized which button he had pressed.

**"****Wow, 18****th**** floor?"** That was the highest number, and part of me wondered if he was just pulling my leg. Forcing me to control the temptations, and yearnings. I was waiting for him to proclaim he had pressed the wrong button, and have it turn out we were on the ground floor. He didn't, and I stole a glance at him. He smiled.

**"****Is that a problem?"** I shook my head as he finished his sentence.

**"****No, of course not!"** He grinned, and laughed lightly.

**"****Hope you're not afraid of heights."** At that moment, the door opened, and I did realize that I was partially afraid of heights.**"Of course, we don't have to go out and relax on the balcony. Though, I'd love to see you in the moonlight. With nothing on."** I felt my whole body go turn into jelly. My legs went weak, and I grabbed a banister for support. We continued our short walk to his room. He set the bags down, used he key to enter, and quickly grabbed the bags before I could look. **"I'll set a few things in the bathroom for you, and you can see how they feel. I'll be doing a few things in here."** Stepping into his bathroom, he disappeared for a second, and I took the moment to panic. I hadn't had much of a chance to panic currently, and right now I needed to. I needed to shave, everything. Even though I had shaved this morning, I needed to do it _again. _If there is one thing I hate, it's body hair, and I planned on being as smooth as a baby's bottom.

My heart was fluttering, and I was so unsure of everything. I felt like a virgin, and amateur. I wasn't, and I had been with three separate guys throughout my life so far. James would be my fourth, and as I took that into consideration. I realized just how much I wanted him to be my last first. I hadn't realized that I had been staring toward the balcony. As he appeared behind me, and each hand took one of my. He pressed himself against me. Using his head, he pushed my hair away from my neck. Then, he did it again. He pressed his lips against my neck, and I felt myself weakening again.**"You know, you're irresistible..." **He had to be insane, or something. I definitely wasn't, but in this moment I didn't want to ruin anything.

**"****You're far more irresistible. I've had to control myself from the moment you stepped onto that stage."** That much was true, and I realized how vulnerable I had become. It just felt so nice, and his lips continued to press against my neck. His hands were gripping mine tightly, and if they hadn't I would have fallen to the ground by now. I felt him twist me, and I was against him now. Chest to chest, face to face, nose to nose, and eye to eye. I stared into his, and he stared back into mine. It was like we were one, and we wanted the same things. We desired each other, lusted, needed. It didn't feel dirty, or wrong. It felt right, and in every single way. I had never been so comfortable with someone before in my life time. Usually, I was so awkward and stiff. This time, I could feel how well our bodies melted together. We were like two puzzles pieces that fit perfectly together.

**"****I want you."** Those words left his lips so simply, but they meant so much. I felt tears in my eyes, and everyone hormone in my body burst into flames. In that second, I remembered that I needed to go into the bathroom and change.

**"****When I return, you can have me in every single way possible."** That seemed to satisfy him for the moment, and we departed as our fingers slipped from each others grasp. Then, I disappeared into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I had so many things to do, but I was finding it so difficult to do anything. My mind was raising, my blood was pumping, and my hormones were controlling me. I had barely managed to fumble my way over and a find a seat before I fell to the floor. The way that he had looked into my eyes, and spoke those three words to me. It felt surreal that he felt this way about me. It was like a fantasy that I had created. An alternate universe, a dream. I started to question my reality now. Was this real? I held my hands out in front of me, and touched my face. Slapping myself a few times, and pinching my arms. A few markings later, I had come to the conclusion that this was in fact real. The whirlpool tub was real, the walls were real, the mirrors were real. Everything was _real._ Which meant the way he felt about me was _real._

Realizing the mission had decided to do before. Much time had passed, and I needed to be slicker than butter. Wasting no more time. I washed myself down, shaved, tried on the outfit that did fit. Thankfully, my plan with Amity was a success. Then, before exiting, I stepped in front of the mirrors. I looked at myself at every angle, then stared back at myself deeply. I knew that I wasn't the prettiest girl, and I was far from the skinniest. I had to remind myself of where I was, and what I was doing. I had to be _confident_. **"You are beautiful. James thinks so, so it must be true. He wants **_**you**_**, you hear that? He wants you, and that means that you're better than anyone else has said in the past. That means that every guy that has ever torn you down, or treated you like dirt... It means they were to ignorant to see the beauty in you."**Some might consider it strange for a pep-talk, but this was long over due. I had needed to hear myself say this, and I needed for it to be proven to me for my own sake.**"Now, get out there and give it everything you have. Even if the two of you never see each other again... Make this a night to remember, and in the best of ways possible."** With a nod to myself, I flattened the front of my outfit, and stepped from the bathroom. Upon exiting, I noticed the rose petals that littered the ground. There were heart candies, and notes. How had he done this so fast? '_Oh, right, you were having a hysterical fit. He had plenty of time to prepare things.'_ I reminded myself to not be stupid, or forget how amazing I was. I picked up the first note, and read it to myself. '_Follow your heart.'_ I looked down, and the next note was near the heart candies. I smiled, and picked it up next. Realizing now, it was shaped into a heart as well. _'We have just begun a path, and together we will walk it.'_ What was he referring to? It seemed he was quite a romantic, and not to mention a sentimental. I followed to the next note, realizing they were leading toward the balcony. _'Together, we will be one, united.'_ I was curious where the was leading now, and followed the path to the last card which sat just outside on the floor of balcony. _'I want you, forever and always.'_ My heart pumped loudly in my chest. Holding all of the cards. I glanced around, but didn't see him. Sure the balcony was large, but where was he? Stepping further out, and to the railing. I peered out into the night. The moon shined brightly against my pale skin, but it gave me an orange glow as the moon looked almost like an eclipse.

**"****That is, if you'll have me."** His voice broke my pep-talking train of thoughts, and a smile came to my lips. This smile was filled with every emotion possible. All of the good things were shoved into one. I turned around, and he was only a foot away from me. He only wore a buttoned white dress shirt, and his pants now. I, was in something a bit more revealing, but it was still covering most of everything. I rested my arms on the railing, my elbows sitting on them lightly.

**"****That depends, can I really keep you for forever and always?"** As the words left my lips, he stepped closer to me. I noticed the smell of after shave and cologne. I had a feeling he had freshly shaven as well. Though he knew I didn't like facial hair. I was curious if he was hairless in other places, as well.

**"****Yes."** It was one word, but it had so much meaning in this moment. We looked deeply into each others eyes, and he pressed against me. My back setting against the cool railing. My body temperature was quite a bit warmer, so it was obvious for me. Somehow, I ignored it, and he pressed his lips onto mine. Oh, I wanted it so much. For all these years, I had wanted to kiss him. Now, it was possible. He gripped my side, and I placed my arms around his neck. My hands on the back of his head. We kissed, with everything we had. The feeling, and emotions all combined. It was passionate, strong, powerful. It was everything I could have ever dream of. As we pulled back for a moment, we needed to breathe a little. Air had escaped my lungs, and it seemed the same ordeal for him. We both breathed a little heavily.

**"****James..."** I said breathlessly.

**"****Yes?"** He looked into my eyes, and I gulped.

**"****Take me..."** Nothing else was needed. We both disappeared into the room again. The balcony door open, as a breeze floated in. The curtains flying like a lost ghost, as we made passionate love to each other. It seemed hours that our bodies intertwined, and I remained confident in myself. It took a lot for me to overcome my fears, but I knew it was the only way to enjoy things. For the first time ever, since no other man could give me the chemistry and love I needed, my eyes rolled into the back of my head. As night took over, and we both fell asleep.


End file.
